kamanaa

In our everyday daily life most of us are struggling to survive. The living cost of male’ is so high. We are living in Male’ but spending as if we are living in Australia. Working in an NGO is another challenge..every day we think of ways to raise funds to continue our work. We have knocked on all doors. We met with a Haveeru news reporter recently so thatwe could aware the public on our struggle. I just hope that this report would bring a posetive change..I just hope that someone would call us in a near future and donate us a handsome amount so that we can survive..so that we can give the service to these children…It’s their right to get this service and someone has to do it. We are trying to do it, so why not assist us in doing it…

http://www.haveeru.com.mv/?page=details&id=84030

Today I am blessed with the two most beautiful and the most wonderful daughters. There is nothing more I can ask for. I have hopes and dreams for them. Being a mother you want them to become great mother’s one day, Insha Allah….

As for me I am a daughter myself. I am trying hard to give my daughters what I did not get as a daughter. I did not have a close relation with my mother. I was afraid to tell her anything. Today while lying down I tried to remember good memories of my child hood and I could not recall anything I did with my mother, other than going out for a walk around the marine drive. I have always had a hard time with my mom. For the past 20years I have been confronting with my mom, trying to come to terms with her over the only property I have, the house that was inherited to me from my father. This has been a never ending battle for me and I have always, till today been giving in cause she is my mother. I rarely talk to her and things are always easy as long as I don’t bring up the topic of the house. This has created such a distance between us. Whenever I talk about it she would tell me to let her stay there until she dies, but who knows who would die first. The major problem is that she does not trust me. She feels that if she moves out from the house I would not let her in…..How can I convince her that all I am trying to do is to give a home for my kids. She doesn’t trust me when I tell her that she could move in once the house is built. With her living there I cannot do it.

Living in a rented apartment after renting out whatever is available from my home, I am living happily and comfortably with my kids. But one day I want to move into my own house. The place where I grew up in, though there aren’t any sweet memories attached to it.

I want my kids to have a home which they can call their own when they get married. I want my dream home………..Gosh! I am getting old…I don’t grow any younger…..I want to live in my own home…I just hope that my mom would come to her senses soon and give in…Every day I wait impatiently to a call from her telling me to get an apartment for her so that I can start work….I have waited all these years..I’ll wait…After all she is my mother…Though I do not talk to her often or see her often I care about her and wants her to be happy….

We are afraid to leave our child at home…..because you never know who would interact with your child while you are away….But how many of us have a choice to stay home and be with the kids? But can you be on the outlook 24/7….it’s impossible…It’s not  a matter of you being at home or not…If the fathers and the mothers are abusing the children than who would not…

The recent news of the Kulhudhuffushi father, abusing his two daughters really shocked me. Well. it’s not the first time we heard such a news, but the story itself was really difficult to digest. We live in such a small community and we know each and each other’s business. It’s difficult to hear that the community knew about this for the past 5 years. The fact that the children were kept out from school, the mother was involved in this throughout….. Why didn’t she come out…was she that helpless…to sacrifice her own children just to save a marriage…A marriage????

The most difficult question is whom can we trust? A father and a mother are the only people a child looks up to seek protection…We as parents are suppose to protect them…but when we become the devils whom can the child trust…..But how can we live in this fear…I just can’t understand how a father or a mother can do…on top of that…think of doing such a thing…I am sure they would have loved and nurtured those children at some stage….I am not a psychologist neither a psychiatrist….. So I might not know the psychological changes that might take place in a person’s mind….But all I know is that it’s such an inhuman behavior, and these people are not humans.

Would this have happened, or gone this far if each one of us has taken the responsibility, at the community level, at the government level or at an individual level…….All I know is that we can never be that helpless…to sacrifice our own children….

Since Feb I havn’t posted any posts and it is due to a couple of reasons…But I have missed my blog and there are so many things I would like to share…things that have been going around in my head…things that I have been experiencing…things that are bothering me…This time I am back for good….

 My six year old daughter has already started talking about her wedding, how her cake should be, how her dress should be and who would be the groom…. She was only three when she asked me if she has a baby in her tummy. At the age of four she asked me how the baby comes into her tummy. I had to tell her that she has to wait until she has a wedding party, I don’t know if it’s the most appropriate answer but I figure that it’s better than telling a made up story like you get it from the hospital or someone put’s the baby in your tummy or I dunno…

Kids today are becoming mature so soon. There are a lot of factors involved. Most of the cartoons they watch have a lot of love and romance involved in it. Dolls like Bratz shows off a sexy figure with very luscious lips. Bratz dolls have over grown Barbie dolls since it came to market. We as parents are dressing our children in clothes that might look quite sexy on a six year old. Some children even young have bodies that might not look appropriate in a certain type of dress. But we as parents tend to say..”they are just kids”… But when they grow up we expect them cover up. But for them they have been showing off their mid riff, wearing halter necks…. We start putting lipstick and blushers on them when they are so young not knowing the image we are creating.

Children as young as seven start sending love letters to each other. They don’t even understand the concept behind it, but they feel an attraction to the opposite sex even before they have the ability or understand or to deal with such situations.

Today in Male’ most people are living in a very difficult situation. However much we want to separate our kids from us we are unable to do it. We have to sleep in the same room, and sometimes we tend to believe that the kids are asleep. But god knows how many kids might have seen their parents having sex.

Last week me and my 14year old daughter was talking about a boy whom she has crush on. I don’t want her to start dating so soon. But some of her class mates has already started and with parent’s approval. During the conversation she told me that I might have to have this conversation with “kokko” by the time she is 12. I told her that it might be even early…..Who knows since they are becoming too mature too soon….Where did all the children go??????

Friend, a small word with a meaning so deep that its almost impossible to express it. A friend is a person who is always there for you no matter how hard times may get. They are there to share your every happiness, to care for you in your time of need. A  friend is a person that will walk along side with you through every obstacle of your life and a person to catch you when you’re about to fall, a person that will try her best to keep a smile on your face.

Imagine a life without friends. Imagine having no one to share all your precious secrets with, having no one to truly understand you, no one to give you a hug when you truly need one. Imagine how it would be if you had to keep all your thoughts to yourself.

Nobody can ever be happy without friends. But one thing we should be careful about is differentiating between good and not so good friends. Would you want a friend who stabs you in the back? I would rather have a frinds who stabs me in the front. All I  know is that there is no life without friends.

(An article written by my 14 year old daughter Naufa)

Care Staff Celebrating

Last Friday night has been a very important night for us. We celebrated Care Society’s 10^th Anniversary with President as the guest of honor and I had the privilege of being the Master of the Ceremony.

It was a night where a dream came true. Yes we were promised by the president that we would be given new premises during this week. We have been working for it for the past 3 or 4 years and at last we are seeing a green light. Guess what we were wondering where it would be….would it be somewhere far from where we are already located…Would it be a building? An empty land….To tell the truth it doesn’t matter. As long as we get a place to call our own. The students can have better school. Where the teachers can conduct the programmes the way it should.

When the president announced it every one hooted and clapped. I couldn’t even speak, I couldn’t stop smiling…For a few seconds there on the stage I was lost for words…My mind went blank….Still I am hearing him saying the words….

Can’t wait for a call from the President’s office, or anywhere in that matter. We are all eagerly waiting to move…To our own place……

At the end of the day hard work really pays.

We arrived at the Mumbai Airport early so that we could have sometime for a coffee. But we were wrong. We faced more questions and more interrogation. It took them 3 hours to get what they wanted from us. They checked every single piece in our luggage and we passed 8 check points before we boarded the plane to Tel-Aviv. One question they asked strike me. Why did we choose this route? Than did I realize why all this questions and why it has been so hard for us. During the recent terrorist attack in Mumbai one of the targets was Nareeman house which was a Jewish outreach center and Jews was one of their prime target. And we being Muslims and traveling to Israel through Mumbai grabbed their attention.

We were expecting more questions from the Israeli immigration but we were sent to the airport police. There we faced the same questions all over again. At first a guy asked us questions and he started from our family background. If any of our ancestors came from any other country and our personal telephone numbers and this time they asked us if we have travelled to any other Middle Eastern countries or if we have any intention of meeting the Palestinian authorities. We were asked to wait outside.

A lady met us again and while questioning she asked us if we are planning to visit the Al-Agsa mosque. Even though we have planned we didn’t want to say that, so I said no. She was surprised and said that after coming all the way to Isarel  aren’t you going to visit the mosque? I told her we would love to but if there is going to be any complications we would rather avoid it. Then she said the mosque is the safest place for Muslims and it is very safe there.She asked us to wait outside. I asked why is this creating so much problems and she said that it is very complicated these days. And then I asked her that we being Muslims it is becoming more complicated but she did not agree to that.

After 7 hours on a flight and at 5.30 in the morning we were too tired to say anything else but to wait.

By the time we were given our passports it was 6 in the morning and we were able to leave the airport by 9 because the hotel representative who came to pick us up left thinking that we did not come on that flight.

But all the tension and frustrations was worth it. This is a beautiful city and all the people we have met so far have been very nice. Today we were given a tour of the old city of Jaffa in Tel-Aviv and it has amazing architecture and the city is very beautiful.

A moonlit night…

Sending its silver rays down on the beach…

It’s so calm and quite…

How I wish for you tonight..

To be here with me..

Sitting here alone doesn’t feel right…

So I got up to take a stroll…

But it was too heart breaking…

To watch others enjoying the beautiful night…

But I can always dream of the happy moments that we have spent together…

And that always brings a smile on my face…

It was cold and the cold wind felt good…

I hugged myself and felt the warm and comfort…

Which I always feel with your arms around me…

You always tell me to hold on tight not to let go…

I just want to let you know…I would never let you go…

With you every day I learn new things…explore a different world…

A world full of colors….A world of love, A world of passion…

 I recently read on a book that says “Human beings are the only animals who sense danger and walk right into it, while other animals’ sense danger and walk away from it”, which is very true. Sometimes we have a sixth sense telling us that something is wrong. But how many of us walk away from it. It seems that we all sense danger before it happens and we would get signals..some people ignore it while others follow it.

Sometimes we sense we are being followed, what do we do?

While we are dating we realize that he/she wants to know what you are doing every second of the day, whom you are talking to, doesn’t take “no” for an answer, interfere with what you wear and what you do….but you still go ahead and marry that person while your intuitions tell you to leave him or her. But you do not trust your intuitions and try to convince you’re self that everything would be fine once you get married…but which never happens in most cases.

How often do you find it difficult to choose a dish from a menu….or to buy the perfect shoes or a dress….I can share something that happens to me? If I go abroad one thing I should buy is a few pair of shoes. And it doesn’t matter how cheap or expensive it is it just has to catch me on first sight. I trust my intuitions fully when it comes for shopping for shoes.

Do you have this urge to go out somewhere? To eat a certain thing and then you realize that you don’t have it at home? What do you do…. Do you ignore it? Next time when you have this urge why don’t you go out and buy it…Who knows whom you might bump into….Someone that you have been longing to meet…

Let me share with you what I came across on the internet. http://ezinearticles.com/?Trusting-Your-Intuition—You-Already-Know-What-to-Do&id=1672713

1. If you experience a gut feeling’ or a hunch this week, act on it as soon as possible and notice the results.

2. If you are eating out at a restaurant, have the intention that your eyes will fall on the perfect menu choice for you at first glance without having to read the whole menu. Order that item, and notice how satisfying it is.

3. When you are faced with a decision, give yourself a 10 minute time limit to make that decision. This will force you to go with your hunch rather than endlessly weighing the pros and cons. Notice how your productivity goes up when you do this.

So trust your intuitions….Listen to your Inner voice..You already know what to do….