kamanaa

My work takes me around Maldives a lot and I have to travel to the islands quite often. In almost every visit I come across some social issue which I tend intervene hoping to bring about a change in someone’s life. But this time it changed my life too…..

My work took me to B island (do not want to mention the name) last week. After dinner on the second night I and 2 of my colleagues were walking down the road when we heard a baby crying. One of them said that the baby was crying when we passed the house about half an hour earlier. Nobody wanted to check on the baby because the baby is born out of wedlock and the mother has had 8 children out of wedlock. I couldn’t wait anymore and knocked on the door. There was no answer. I opened the door and found a little baby (4months) crying on a mattress. There was another boy sleeping peacefully. As soon as I took the baby he stopped crying.

When the baby’s mother came she was quite angry to find that people have gathered outside her house. But as soon as she saw me she lowered her voice and talked to me very nicely and said that she went to friends place and she doesn’t know why people want to make such a big issue out of this and she thanked me. I explained to her that anything could happen to the child and that was the reason why I didn’t want to leave the baby alone.

She is woman living alone in shattered house; I would rather say a small room. She has gone through a lot in her life. At a young age of 33 she has 9 children, (only 2 of the kids are with her now) and no one to support her. The islanders hate her and make her life really impossible. Her 10year old son is teased and bullied. Most days he goes without food and he steals from trees where he gets more punishment from the island community. Recently he was tied to a tree in the woods. Mariyam (not real name) told me that she wants to turn a new leaf and she is really trying, but some people in the community are making her life impossible on the island. She has been proposed by three different people from other islands and on every occasion people from this island intervenes and stops her marriage. Probably the men of this island aren’t happy that she might leave the island…..

 She is very concerned about the boy. People ask him dirty questions about his mother. Is this what our society is all about? Why do we punish a little boy for what his mother has done? Do they want him to grow up to be another person who hates life? Why are they punishing him?

Everyday this little boy would cry hoping to leave this island. He wants to go somewhere else. He wants to study and he loves school. He gets good grades. He doesn’t have nice clothes, he doesn’t remember playing with toys, he doesn’t have proper meals, but he is intelligent and brilliant. (I met a school staff who told me about him)

This little boy looks so innocent. I met him again on the beach the next day and sat down with him. I could not look into his eyes because I could not bare to see the sadness in his watery eyes when I spoke to him. His skin was dry and cracked from continues exposure to sun. He was dirty, but there was something that took me towards him.

I saw him smile only once and that was when we asked him to smile for a photo. It was so hard for him to smile

I want to help him and I will. Something in this little boy is taking me towards him. I have called his mother twice since I came to Male’ yesterday. Probably God has given me the son………. Someone told me today that God has his way…..

I spend the most beautiful three days on this island and it gave me a very sweet and a sour experience.

Last night while browsing the internet I came across a website where I found the video of Marhoom Sameer who was stabbed to death on a road of Male’ during broad day light. I was so shocked to see the video. (I wonder why they wanted to upload it in the first place) not because of the way it was done…But, how could someone stand there for 28seconds taking a video while he is struggling for his last breath. I know he was unconscious, but how could any human being do that to another. It might be that people around him where minding their own business by not touching him until someone who has a heart come up and started shouting. This is just one case.

How many of us hear a child crying nonstop from the house next door and is even bothered to go and check on that child? How many of us hear screams and crying of women? How many of us has come across fighting on the roads of Male’ and even bothered to try and stop it? How many of us are aware that a child or a woman is being abused, but do something about it. I know in some of these cases we are concerned of our own security, but is that why we walk away or just become another onlooker. (A colleague of mine who has done psychology told me that it is called the Bystander Effect)

But do we mind our own business when it comes to gossiping? We want to know who the neighbor’s daughter or son is getting married to. We want to know who and who are getting married or divorced. We want to know who and who are having an affair. We want to know who and who are dating or sleeping around.

Let me share an incident I came across. It was during May this year at the artificial beach and there was a children’s evening. I was there with my kids my colleagues and friends. I was near the stage watching the show when I saw a woman with a little girl trying to get up from the ground and there was a man nearby pushing her. She managed to get up and the man pushed her again. There were lots of people around. I couldn’t wait. I went in between and told them that there are lots of children around and they are creating a very ugly scene. But the man was really angry and the woman started telling me what happened. I told her that I don’t need to hear the story and I don’t want to know who is to blame, but I want them to stop it right now. The little girl who was around 3 or 4 was holding the woman really tightly. The man tried to push her again. I asked her to give me the child but the child did not let go of her mother so I could not take her. Again I tried to stop the man. I told him that this is not the environment for them to fight and god knows what else I said. At least I was able to send the man away from her.

When I came back every one asked me whether I knew them. I said no. Surprisingly they asked me if I was mad. What if the man did something to you? I told them I don’t know but at that moment I wanted to help her and the little girl.

Even after I came home I kept on thinking about them. What if he hurt her again? What if she is helpless? What might be going through that little girl’s mind?

What I did might be something very stupid…I don’t know…But all I know is there are lots of incident where we can intervene and bring a change to someone’s life. It might be a mother, a woman, a teenager, a child or a man. We need to know when to mind our own business. How can we live being I, me and myself?  If we want a better tomorrow why don’t we start thinking of “we” and “Us”.

In my recent visit to SriLanka I had to stay in this hotel for 3 nights since I could not get rooms in any other hotel within budget. Since this hotel is very popular among the Maldivians I thought that it should be really good.

We arrived quite late in the night and the kids were very hungry. We ordered food and went down to the restaurant after half an hour when they told us the food was ready. We had to stay another 15minutes for a plate of fried rice. On the table next to us plates were lying around un attended.

Our food was served but it was not worth all the wait. It was really bad. The rice was not done properly and I can barely see any chicken in it. We booked a single and a double room but both rooms had twin beds and they chrage the two rooms differently, saying that one is a double room. One of the toilet was so small that I had to squeeze my self in to close the door.

When I came down in the lift the next morning I saw that poeple have scribled on the lift walls in Dhivehi language nothing other than slangs. I felt sad, and just couldn’t understand why any one should do that. Some one has even tried to remove it by drawing lines over it but still the words were visible enough.

 The lobby was full of Maldivians. Some were lyig down on the sofa as if it was their own sitting room. Probably they are too familiar with this hotel. But I found it very inappropriate. For the first time I took a good look around the hotel and found that they have a clock on the wall with the Maldivian timing as well, and they even have a Maldivian flag outside the hotel.

During the 3 days I spent in this hotel I saw only 2 foreigners. It was all Maldivians. But I just couldn’t undersatnd why Maldivians like this hotel. I couldn’t find any thing posetive about this hotel. Probably I’m wrong. But this was my experience and I don’t think I would ever stay there again.