Polyandry?????
(Actually I was planning to write about polygamy when I came across this. It was very interesting and thought that I would share this with you all)
We are all familiar with monogamy, as well as ’polygamy’, an arrangement in which one man can have several wives. But few people realize that there is another marriage system known as ‘polyandry’, when one woman has two or more husbands.
Typically in a polyandrous system, a woman marries a man plus his brothers, who “share” her. Never knowing for certain whether they are fathers or uncles, the men treat the children born into the family as their own.
Polyandrous marriage is most commonly found, among the Tibetan communities living in the high, arid Himalayas where the terrain in steep, the air is thin, and the winters are hard.
Although polyandrous marriage is an economic necessity and the cultural ideal, it is certainly not everyone’s personal choice. It appears, for example, that men would far prefer to be certain fathers than probable uncles. Polyandry exists when there are no other options. This is why it has developed in very remote regions, cut off from other means of making a living, where there is little chance for men to raise a family on their own.
Even most women are not happy with this arrangement “Too many husbands is too much trouble”, they say, complaining about the fighting and jealousy, the concerns over paternity, and the lack of sleep. What are their options?
Polyandry is a rare mating system in general. It occurs in only a handful of other mammals and birds. Biologists have explained it in terms of particular environmental conditions and the breeding opportunities that result. By using a similar approach with humans, anthropologists are gaining a much deeper understanding of the diversity of human culture.
Why Do Married Men And Women Have Affairs?
When a married man has an affair the other woman is blamed, when a married woman has an affair even then the woman is blamed. The man is never blamed. Why? The million dollar question! Well I cannot find an answer to that question, but why do married men and women have affairs?
Well my quick research came up with these answers.
- EXCITEMENT AND ADVENTURE
As you can see by the definition affairs are mostly filled with excitements and adventures. A new lover, Secret meetings, the danger of getting caught… all these factors add into the adventure.
2. UNDERSTANDING AND COMPANIONSHIP
A search for love is probably the main reason why many people think married women and men have affairs
After years of marriage the romance slowly dies in most relationships. The only bonding is the children or the commitment. But we are humans. We always search for new things and some individuals long for romance in their life. These men and women may never have had romance, or they had it so long ago they have forgotten.. Some do not engage in sex, but seek and enjoy sending flowers, writing a poem, and looking forward to the secret meetings.
4. LUST/SEX
If ever there is one factor which is assumed to drive an affair, this is it. For a number of men and women, this certainly exists as the primary reason. If the husband is having an affair, the assumption is that the wife has lost interest in sex. “Vanilla” is the term for boring, traditional sex. Some women and men are bored by vanilla sex, and want sex which is more daring.
5. ONE-NIGHT STAND/OPPORTUNITY
Attention and acknowledgment are generally thought of as components of self-esteem. If someone else makes you feel special than there is an urge to move towards that person. Each one of us needs to feel that he or she is a worthy person. If a married spouse does not have that basic feeling of self-esteem, she or he may very well go out and get it.
It is not unusual for a woman or man who lacks self-esteem to have an affair with someone who makes her or him feels special;
7. REVENGE/TIT FOR TAT
One common reason is that since the spouse has had an affair and the other spouse feels some sense of justification to also have an affair, to get back at the spouse. After confronting the unfaithful spouse or rather than confront the unfaithful spouse, he or she chooses to engage in the same behavior.
.8. FREEDOM/ESCAPE
Some married women, some times men feel trapped, confined in their roles of wife, homemaker, breadwinner of the family and mother. So some times these affairs become an escape for them. They feel the freedom of doing something daring, an escape from the responsibilities that might have become a burden.
And the most interesting research that I came across says that “Happy couples have sexual affairs” http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/1033850,affair070108.article
Reference: Divorcesource.com
Varah Loabivey…..
“.
I have been in love with a man for almost 10years and both of us have a pretty good relationship but the one thing I find difficult is that he won’t tell me he loves me. He says he has a hard time saying it and it is just words, and that I should know he loves me without him needing to verbalize it. While I do know he loves me, I still feel the need to hear it, and it hurts that he can’t say it, even when it means so much to me. Am I making a big deal out of nothing or do I have the right to want him to say that he loves me?”
This is a very common complain we hear often from women. “I love You”. Why are these three words so important for women?.
Some people might say it, just for the sake of saying it, and others might mean every single word they are saying. Yet every woman wants to hear it from her man.
We all know that “action speaks louder than words”. A man might be very loving and caring, and shows affection but might never say these three words. Does that mean he does not love you? We still need to hear those words So the question here is why is it so difficult for men to say these three words?
If he doesn’t say those words we might wonder what’s going on in his head. Most of the time men are hard to read. Most men are not as verbal as women. For most women it is very easy to say these words, but for most men………….sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!
I came across this while I was googling around and would like to share this with you all.
http://shariavsinalienablerights.blogspot.com
Mahmoud Al-Masri: Matters of the heart. If the wife asks her husband: “Do you love me, Abu Muhammad?” He should say: “Of course I love you, honey. How could anyone not love you?” He might not love her at all, but when he says: “I love you,” she feels happy and stable, and feels that this is still her home, and that these are still her children and her husband. Right? But if he were to say to her: “The Prophet has forbidden lying, so I cannot tell a lie – I hate you, I want to kill you, and get rid of you…” Can they possibly continue to live together after this? No. That’s why the Prophet Muhammad said: “You are allowed to lie to your wife, but only about matters of the heart.” He is not allowed to lie to her about money, or about his comings and goings, and so on. No – only about matters of the heart.”
But do we want someone to lie to us just because it would give us a peace of mind. So that we would melt down, So that we would be in the cloud nine…..No..
So from now on I would not complain even if my man does not say “I love you”…
well ….. When everyone says it, why say it and make this relationship common. We will not say it, and make this unique….
From now on I would say “don’t say you love me…show me that you love me”
Men Talk….Women Talk….
We always say that women talk more than men, and we believe it too. I googled to see if could find any research that says who talk more. I came across a few and some says that men talk more and some says that women talk more…
Recently I spent four days on an island with four men. I was the only woman in the group. We spent quite an amount of time talking to each other and believe me; they did not talk any less than a group of women. So what did they talk about most? Women! And the funny thing is I did not feel uncomfortable among them.
One other thing! Do only single men talk about women? No. It doesn’t matter whether you are married or single. The most interesting topic for men is women!
It seems that men talk about 4 things:
Sex
Sports / Hobbies
Maybe their jobs
And dirty jokes
And women have a variety of things they talk about:
Relationships & Sex
Celebrity gossip and news; also general gossip in their lives
Being updated with their friends and their stories
Their boyfriends or husbands
Personal things concerning themselves
And on and on .. etc. etc. …
People say that men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti. It seems that when men talk they finish one topic before moving on to the other, but where else in women they go on and on and jump from one topic to the other and return back to the previous topic.
Before I left Male’ I was bit skeptical of spending 4 days on an island where I do not have any friends. I though I would miss the girls and the girl talk. But believe me I had as much fun with the men as I have with my girlfriends. So I believe that men and women can be very good friends and can share a good laugh. As long as we know the boudaries.
I am back….
So was it worth it…Yes! One thing I learnt a lot of new medical terminologies… I learnt about tumors…and even Mc Dreamy and Meredith’s love life was interesting….
But I do promise from now on I would be more regular.
