kamanaa

I visited a friend of mine who had a baby recently.  As soon as I saw the baby, she said “ please don’t say that he is too small for his age”. I was so shocked. I asked her why would I say that, and she told me “that’s what I have been hearing for the past two months”.

This is a very common problem quite a lot of us face. It’s so annoying when people say that the child is too small, or too thin or ask whether if the parent is feeding the child well.  When I had my first child she was quite tiny, but healthy. Believe me. Almost every single person who visited me mentioned that. One neighbor even told my mother in-law that she thinks that I don’t have sufficient milk for the baby. Who knows better! Me, or that nosy neighbor. 

 When  we visit a newborn baby at the hospital, the very first remark we often tend to make is “haadha kudaey”, or “haadha dhoney” and if the child has dark skin than the child would not fit the “loabi” category. We sometimes forget to ask the mother how she is doing or how the baby is doing. We get carried away in checking who the baby resembles. And sometimes we get so carried away we don’t realize that we are hurting the feelings of the parents.

Even at the age of 2 my daughter was actually small compared to other children her age. But she was healthy and active. I think that’s all that matters. But for the onlookers she should be plump, otherwise she is not considered as healthy. Why do we want children to be chubby when they are babies? Once they reach 6 or 7 most parents would be worried because the child is overweight and would try putting them on diets.  

Another annoying thing is when people comment on how you look when you are pregnant.  As soon as we see some one whom we know and is pregnant, we ask her how may months pregnant she is?  Immediate comments would follow…” haadha bandu kudaey”, “haadha bodey, yageentha twins eh noonkan”, “haadha falaey”, “haadha hiykey, mihaaru dhemeehunah vaavarah kaanvaane” blah blah….

What do you ask first when you meet an old friend whom you haven’t   seen for a long time? “Ey haadha nufeneyey, mihaaru haadha fala vehjeyey”“Haadha hikifa, konkamakaa hithaama kuranee” and it would go on…..

“People, by their nature, are opinionated and will always be ready to impart their unwarranted views, often in the most tactless manner. If you are dumbfounded by any comments your receive, the simplest response is, “That’s my choice. It’s what I / we want. It doesn’t adversely affect your life does it?””

I know we can’t change these things in our society overnight. But even if one of you think about it, and try to bring about a positive change by talking about this, than I would be more than happy.